i just want to stay home and read books while someone makes me gourmet food and fans me with all the money i get from playing on the internet

How do I become a sugar baby bc Im in desperate need of a sugar daddy to give me money.

"All relationships are doomed. If you emotionally undress in front of someone, they will pour acid on your shivering skin and leave you to die.”
— Howard, Fresh Meat  (via versteur)

decibelsandpaperbacks:

This week on Tumblr:

It’s a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. I’m a metaphor. Your keybord is a metaphor. Everything is a metaphor. The universe is turning into one giant metaphor on a molecular scale. Run. It’s too late.

thetumblr-thisisatumblr:

making plans with friends like

image

rupsidaisy:

straight boys don’t shut their mouths because their lips would be touching and that’s gay

hollandoroden:

*KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR*

DO NOT

*PULLS YOU OUT OF BED*

TALK SHIT

*THROWS YOU ACROSS ROOM*

ABOUT AUGUSTUS WATERS 

iphone420:

i hope i lose 800 pounds by tomorrow morning

©